God Hand

2010-11-11 14:14:04

God Hand for the PS2. When I was recommended this title I thought I was truly done with playing PS2 games, I mean I had already appeased the friend by playing Shadow of the Collossus, so why should I take another trip to shitty polygonville? The answer is simple. To play the most incredibly nuanced beat-em-up game in history!

God Hand is a game like many in the Capcom lineage, punishing until you get it done right. this game will straight kick your ass if you aren't ready to setup crushing combinations of your own. Much like a similar game I love Kengo, you are able to buy moves and chain them together into ruthless combinations between each level. Towards the end of the game my Pimp slap combo was king of most battles, with devastating kicks as a backup. There is no wrong answer as long as every answer is kick ass.

Not only is the controls and customization fun, the game is off the wall hilarious. as you fight you build up power in your god hand, when it maxes out you can hit a bumper button to engage God Hand battle mode, your character staggers, holding his wrist as if to tell the hand no that guy didn't just call your mother a used goodwill glove, and then it goes off the chain, suddenly the arm is glowing, you are moving 4x as fast, and laying down beat downs with no chance of retribution. that is what is means to let godhand off the chain.

But more hilarious than that is the enemies you fight. Battle a female in the game and you have the option to throw them over your knee and spank them into oblivion, which is one of the easiest ways of defeating this boss http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=reZZazyNezM other memorable attacks are ones that punch male enemies in the junk, and being attacked by midget power rangers with rainbow energy attacks http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4JmHpcd18U

The game is all about ridiculous situations and power attacks. as long as you can find your groove in the game you won't be disappointed by this timeless classic in beat down history. If you can find yourself a copy, from my understanding the title is fairly rare and hard to come by, much like the metal gear series, likely because people knew a good thing when they saw it. 

Don't just take my word for it. Here's a favorite video review of the game that I found certainly compelling http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBqB5LUKh8A

Reason Score
Start 10
Snug controls and variety of moves leads to a game that rewards good gameplay and punishes bad gameplay +5
Graphics are a little gritty but at the trade off of a very fast game with no chop. -2
Humor Factor through the roof will keep you entertained fight after fight. +3
Some of the fights are brutal to the point if they're not fought within a millimeter of give you will lose and replay it over and over again, leading to possible ragequits. -3
Finish Him 13

13/10, this game is a real winner, a diamond in the rough, a game that should be at least played if not cherished. If you have a PS2 or a PS3 that can still backwards compat, pick this game up and beat your fingers into putty.