Mountain Dew Gamefuel

2010-08-04 18:02:17

Mountain Dew Game Fuel (Human Body)

It happens everytime an epic piece of media comes out, the rest of corporate America locks their lips firmly on the teat of whatever media piece there is and rides the wave like a surfer who has smashed one too many times into the coral reef might. Today I talk to you about Mountain Dew Gamer Fuel.



There is so many things wrong with this drink I don't even know where to begin. Well let's start with the bottle. As you can see the bottle is your standard Mountain Dew Bottle Featuring a stylized Mountain Dew Logo and an orange hued evidently citrus drink inside. Sadly this is all overwhelmed by the appearance of Master Chief on the bottle along with the Halo 3 Iconic 3 and Halo 3 text at the bottom. It also claims itself to be Game Fuel, as if people who sit on a couch all day need special dietary needs to get themselves fully into the game.

It promises a lot, and with Master Chief on the bottle it can't be bad right? right? WRONG Mother fuckers. What we receive in the bottle is a slightly elevated caffeine content(not nearly as powerful as a real energy drink) and the results of PepsiCo splicing the manufacturing lines of Livewire and Code Red into 1 line.

The drink attempts to succeed on the success of it's ancestry being that Code Red has sold reliably well and so has Livewire. Unfortunately when you mix the two together you get a taste that resembles none of the good of the drinks and all of the bad. it has the acid of both and the candy sugar content but the flavor reminds me of grenadine and sunkist, and I'm sure if you try to put those two together it would be equally ill.

So what it boils down to is that guzzling this diabetes inducing industrial byproduct of PepsiCo scrubbing their Code Red and Livewire vats is akin to pouring warm soft fecal matter down your throat hole and smiling all the while because it's "Teh Haloz Official Drank!" Fuck product placement, fuck marketing ploys, and Thank the fucking gods that this is a Limited Edition. Rating 1/10 This swill is toxic.

Usually in my review of product I try to find something worth highlighting as a counterpoint to Raging Geek, but all I can say is it isn't as toxic as Raging Geek would believe, but it simply is not a flavor that I could stand. Personally I would prefer to see more Pitch Black II Mountain Dew, the Sour Grape Mod they did to their original Grape Mountain Dew was very tasty and I thought it was great. Sadly though I imagine many other people were scared of Pitch Black 2 after the debacle that was Pitch Black, a sweet grape and mountain dew blend that was just not up to the hype. I rate this 2/10, has some value, but not enough to get me to buy another bottle of it.

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Mountain Dew Gamefuel